5. One more on cars. Parking is very funny in the UK. In North America, when you park on the street you must park in the direction of traffic in the appropriate designated area. In the UK, people park on either side of the road (direction is irrelevant) and often anywhere and everywhere. After all, parking wasn’t an issue hundreds of years ago so they really didn’t plan for it.

4. British people LOVE their dogs. We loved that they loved their dogs. Parks are full of dogs running around. The elderly (who seem healthier than North Americans) are always seen walking around with their dogs. Everywhere you go – dogs. On Wentworth, one of the more prestigious courses in the world, dogs are welcome. Our neighbour would golf every weekend with his lab running behind him. Amazing. We North American’s could learn something from the European's in this regard – seeing a family with their small dog in the restaurant in Normandy was incredibly refreshing. That is a true ‘family’ out for dinner.

3. Everything has a cost and a benefit. I just realized, after 24 amazing months that one of my costs was that I never got to say good-bye to my dog, Bram. Ciao Bram.

2. It is all about people. England is a diverse culture and I am thankful to have worked with and met many amazing people who have a huge impact on my outlook on life and my character. In two years, I owe many people an enormous debt of thanks.

1. Life is about experiences, not things.

15. England is very old. Canada is very young. Two years later, driving by an old church or a pub that was built in the 1400s still amazes me. I could spend hours wandering a cemetery reading the inscriptions, history was made in the UK.

14. Stop signs should be banned in North America – long live the roundabout. North America should learn the lesson.

13. Spoiled food is good. In Canada, things don’t spoil quickly. In the UK they do. As an expat it is initially frustrating as you have to hit the store more often. However, you soon realize that quicker spoiling means less preservatives and definitely less salt. All organic is now the family motto. Oh yah, and I now detest chain store fast food – have been without it for 2 years and don’t miss it.

12. Male fashion is all about the brown shoes with the suit or jeans, and the French cuff shirt. Got it. Understood! But still don’t buy into the whole pink shirt thing. Sorry.

11. Parking in England is an adventure. Like everything else, the people building the homes and roads 1,000 years ago were just not thinking! I had a BMW 5 series estate. Parking with that car meant that every time that I got out of the car two things would happen: there would not be enough room so I would have to get out sideways and no matter how hard I tried, my door always touched the car beside me. The only car that actually had enough room to park was the Mini (which is why there are so many of them in England I suppose).  In the end, the UK has cars, but really isn’t made for cars. The UK was made for horses and walking.

10. The world is flat. Ten years ago, going international would have been a lot harder. Web cams, 1 hour phone calls for $1, email, digital photos and videos, cheap flights, social networking and XBOX LIVE keep you as connected .. as you want to be.

9. A Tom Tom GPS got me all around the UK, Washington, Scotland, Belgium, Paris and through Normandy. I cannot imagine doing this without a GPS. And I will never buy in car SATNAV again. Overpriced, hard to update and generally underperforms – mobile satnav for me please.

8. I have become a very proud Canadian. Canada is a great country, with a rich and varied culture (French, English and everyone else in the world) – with a proud link to Britain.

7. Customer service in the UK is a paradox. The milkman comes to the door 3 times a week (good), you can order groceries on the internet (good), Amazon lets you buy pretty much anything you can think of (books, DVDs, shoes, MP3 drm free downloads to filters for my Jura coffee maker) from one central place and have it delivered in 1 day (awesome). But the ‘convenience’ store on the corner closes at 6, the mall is closed at 6 on a Friday night, the 16 year old checkout boy at the counter sits down while checking me out and watches me pack my own bags, and on many occasions, because they thought we were American – they were downright rude.

6. The world owes the UK an enormous debt for their resolve during WWII. If it were not for this nations ability to hold out while the Americans made up their minds, the Germans would not have been stopped.

It is hard to know who is monitoring what you are doing online these days. Obviously, when you are in the office you can expect to have all online interactions monitored. After all, you are working on a company asset. A few months back I had a conversation with a corporate security guy around company internet monitoring and his response was ‘You would be surprised the sites that people go to. You would think that common sense would keep employees away from the obvious ones, but people still go there’. He went on to mention that this isn’t their focus, it is just inconvenient (and irritating). Their focus is on things like corporate fraud, identity theft, etc.

At home, it is a different story. With the ever present threat of phishing and other internet attacks, it pays to be smart and attentive. Readers Digest had a good article on how to find out who is monitoring your activity online, in case you want to know:

• Go to vancouver.cs.washington.edu and let the site automatically check whether your ISP is using monitoring devices.
• Download Tor from torproject.org which helps block prying eyes.
• Don’t sign up for email with your favourite search engine, as it makes it easier to link your interests. Google specifically.
• Or use anonymizer.com or anonymouse.org to browse anonymously.

A few helpful tips.

As part of the move back to Canada, we are moving back into a North American size home. Which means a lot bigger. As part of that, we will now have a rec room for our soon to be teenage boys to hang out in and a TV is required. So I surfed around a few traditional electronics sites and then hit SuperShopper to see if there were any good deals.

There was one. A 60’ Pioneer plasma for $1,000. That was a good deal so I sent an email to the person. I found it odd that they did not include a phone number, which was alarm bell number one, with the price being alarm two.

I received the following email back that night at 1:32 a.m. (or around 7 a.m. Africa time):

hi,ok but  I am sorry,  I am now out of the town with business,so if you want we can arrange the deal via eBay,i will email eBay to create an invoice for payment and shiping details,the transaction is insured and secured,so let me know,thanx

Uh. That seems odd. I responded:

Hi Julie;
Not interested unless I can see the product. When can I see it?

Response:

i am sorry the product is with me,i will be back after sep,and i want to sell the product until then,so the only way will be via eBay,also i have refund options,and the shipping is free and insured ,so let me know,thanx

OK. So let me get this all straight:

1. You are away on business for the next 3 months. That seems odd.

2. You have the product with you. You are carrying around a 60’ plasma? But you will ship it from the aforementioned location where you are doing business?

3. I cannot see it, but you have a refund option if you ship me the product and I don’t like it.

I wonder if Julie is related to the Nigerian prince that keeps emailing me asking for my help in getting his $20M out of the country.

When you are travelling across the ocean once or twice (or in my case – a lot over the last 2 months), you get caught up on the latest movies (I figure I can churn through about 100 emails per movie). The International, Marley & Me (which made me want another lab), The Wrestler (My brother will be crushed, he always thought wrestling was real), Valkyrie (which I turned off after an hour - when you know the outcome why bother?), to name a few.

But two shows left me unsettled:

• Taken: The story of an ex-CIA agent searching for his daughter who was abducted by Albanian criminals who sell women as slaves. Liam Neeson slowly churns his way through the bad guys to find his daughter just before she disappears forever. In the end, the obvious happens. But what I found unsettling was the fact that this stuff actually happens. We all know that the slave trade still exists, that eastern bloc women come to the west with a promise of a job as a maid and are forced into other things. Very unsettling movie.
• The Trials of Ted Haggard: I know this is a big deal, and it is bound to be a topic that people get very emotional about. I did not know the story but can recall the noise around this one. If you are not familiar with it, read it here. To summarize, preacher rises to fame, preacher commits a sin which becomes very public and falls from grace. A story played out over, over and over again. What was disturbing about this one is how he was dealt with it. The HBO documentary follows him and his family around as he tries to find a new way, after being banned from his home. He is not like some of the other famous preachers that we have all read about who have the million dollar homes and associated luxuries. He comes across as a rather humble man (obviously assisted by his current circumstances). But I was left wondering, what about forgiveness? Why was he banned from his home and state for a year and a half? You watch as the man and his family are slowly but surely torn down, brick by brick with not many forgiving souls nearby.

One final movie which I hummed and hawed about watching but must absolutely recommend is Frost/Nixon. Great insight into one of this centuries most dubious characters and how a talk show host brought out a confession when every newsperson in the world couldn’t even get close.

As the UK adventure comes to a close, there are many things to reflect on. This week while having dinner with a friend, we talked about what makes a great leader and manager. Over the last 2 years I have learned many valuable business lessons that I will take with me, with these 5 being the ones that ‘stick out’ the most:

• Better to be red faced once than pink a thousand times:  This was taught to me by a woman whom I have an immense amount of respect for, Martha Bejar. We were talking about having to deliver tough messages, whether on a business loss or a bad forecast. Her logic was quite simple, get the bad news out there – all of it – once, and then get everyone focused on solving the problem. That is much better than what I saw way too often, the drip feeding of bad news up the line because people were afraid of the ramifications. I agree 1000%, get the truth out there, take my lumps and then let’s get solving the problem. I would add ‘good news should travel fast, bad news even faster!’
• It is easy to be a bully:  When I think about a bully I think of words like disrespectful, always has to have his own way, doesn’t listen and self centeredness – it is all about him. As a leader, the easiest thing to do is to bully your way through situations but it is not the most successful. It leaves people resentful, creates a climate of fear and eventually, it fails. Respect diversity of opinion – creating an open and honest team climate, trust people to do the right things, vary your leadership style, invest in the success of others – not yourself (servant leadership) and exemplify the behaviour that you want to see in the others around you at all times.
• Never compromise your values:  This one is pretty simple. There is no room for ethical or moral compromise. And if you feel that your leader is making you compromise what you truly believe in, leave.
• Walk the talk:  If you espouse a leadership virtue as one of your core tenants, then you better walk the talk. There was an article on the turn around of the company ABB and their leader that demonstrates this point well (don’t remember where I read it). The story was about how the company was downsizing and making radical cost cuts. The leadership team was heading to a meeting and the majority of the VPs were sitting in business class. The CEO walked on and as they all watched, he walked past them into economy class, without a word. Walk the talk.
• Invest in the success of others and you will be successful:  I learned this lesson as a sales rep and have carried it through my management career. If you focus on what will make your customer, partner or teammate successful, then when they succeed – you succeed. As a leader, I always remember, it isn’t about me – it is about the people on the team. If I focus on making each and every single one of them successful, then my success is guaranteed.

I am very thankful to have had the opportunity to have worked with and learn from so many amazing people in the UK. In the end, I am truly blessed to have had the opportunity and it has changed me forever. So my last lesson is …call it the ‘bonus lesson’:

• Always say thank-you.

THANK-YOU.

A few weekends ago our family jumped in the car and headed to Normandy for a long weekend. I will provide additional details on the trip in future entries, as it was one of my favourite trips that we have taken in the last 2 years.

A big part of the trip was the goal of finding one of Narda’s relatives in the war cemetery near the D-Day landings. Veterans Affairs has done an amazing job through the Canada Remembers project of cataloguing where our war dead lay.

I do not have immediate relatives who served in the Canadian forces during WWII as my family mostly moved from Holland in the 50’s. Ross Ellsmere served in the Air Force as a pilot and died a month before D-Day (probably on a bombing run).  He is buried at St. Desir Cemetery, which is found after a long and winding drive through the French countryside. On the road we were lucky to see the small sign pointing down a side road, in the middle of nowhere. I wondered what it would be like.

Situated just out side of the town of Lisieux, famed for the Basilica dedicated to St Therese is one of the smaller British Cemeteries.

At first the  British and Commonwealth War Graves Commission buried the fallen German troops in a field next doo, where they still are. The Cemetery contains the dead from three different battles. Firstly there are four First Would War Burials who were transferred here after then end of WWII. There are men who fell in 1940 during the retreat to the Seine and those who fell in 1944 during the recapture of the area. Recently the local French village has made a walkway of peace between the two cemeteries

In all there are 598 graves here including 16 Canadian, 6 Australian, 1 New Zealand, 5 South African, and 1 American.

When I stepped out of the car I was hit with two feelings. The first is pride, the cemetery is immaculate – pristine and beautiful. The government is taking care of our war heroes in the right way. The second is a sense of magnitude. This is a small cemetery (550), but the rows and rows of graves is humbling, a testament to the price that was paid for our freedom.

The grave of Ross Ellsmere (22) is surrounded by men who died on the same day. It was a bloody day and you are struck by one thing – the age. Very few are older than 22 or 23.

Right beside the cemetery is St. Desir-de-Lisieux, the German cemetery. Unlike the Allied cemetery, there are no words on the graves written from loved ones. There is just name, rank, date. In fact, there are 2 men to each cross and as the picture shows, it is a very big cemetery – 3,735 to be exact.

Never forget.

A great piece of advice from Jim Collins, from the now closed Business 2.0:

I learned this golden rule from the great civic leader John Gardner, who changed my life in 30 seconds. Gardner, founder of Common Cause, secretary of health, education, and welfare in the Johnson administration, and author of such classic books as "Self-Renewal," spent the last few years of his life as a professor and mentor-at-large at Stanford University. One day early in my faculty teaching career -- I think it was 1988 or 1989 -- Gardner sat me down. "It occurs to me, Jim, that you spend too much time trying to be interesting," he said. "Why don't you invest more time being interested?"

If you want to have an interesting dinner conversation, be interested. If you want to have interesting things to write, be interested. If you want to meet interesting people, be interested in the people you meet -- their lives, their history, their story. Where are they from? How did they get here? What have they learned? By practicing the art of being interested, the majority of people can become fascinating teachers; nearly everyone has an interesting story to tell.

I can't say that I live this rule perfectly. When tired, I find that I spend more time trying to be interesting than exercising the discipline of asking genuine questions. But whenever I remember Gardner's golden rule -- whenever I come at any situation with an interested and curious mind -- life becomes much more interesting for everyone at the table.

I remember this exact scenario playing our at a dinner years ago. We were with a client who was particularly cantankerous. My associate did everything he could to try and connect, by being interesting. He talked of his hobbies (no connection), it came up that they went to the same University so he talked about his experiences in University (no connection) and on and on. No connection.

So I stepped in and took a different approach. I found out that he loved Science Fiction (I do too) and instead of talking about what I like, I asked him what he liked. I acquired two great book recommendations in the process. I then found out that he is a renowned woodworker. As I know nothing about woodworking, I spent the next couple hours learning all about woodworking. Fascinating, I had no idea it was so interesting.

Be interested. Not interesting.

Our trip to Dubai had a simple goal – no churches, no castles and no culture. Just fun. But we had to do something local (and the malls did not appeal to us). So we did a desert tour with Arabian Adventures.

It starts with a driver picking us up at the hotel in a big GMC 4X4. We then proceeded to the Dubai Desert Conservation reserve. What they are trying to protect is beyond me … not sure where that wildlife was ….

The desert is beautiful. Desolate, but beautiful.

The wind really started to pick up. It wasn't that warm.

The drivers stop as you get off the road and enter the desert, removing half of the air out of their tires. They explain that if you have full tires, you will get stuck. They then line up the trucks (there were 30) and start bounding through the desert with a clear goal, to make you think that at any moment that truck is going to bloody well flip over.

As we drove, we passed an abandoned Bedouin camp. The driver explained that they had been relocated into government funded housing. We actually passed the housing on the highway – I would like to live in that type of government housing.

We survived, arriving at a camp for dinner. This is where it gets a big odd. One of the guides walks up to us and asks us if we know who Iron Maiden is. Uh, sure, but for the record I like ACDC better. It turns out that they are on the trip too and these tour guides think that this is just the coolest thing on the planet. Personally, I would not have recognized them had he not said it .. although the dude with the professional video camera videoing it all was a give away that there was something going on. Appears that a band member talked about their gig here. I never took a photo .. (wouldn't know who they are) .. but I think they are in this photo ..the dude with the camo hat standing by the guy with the dreadlocks (He must have read the Rock Band 101 manual).

We settled in for a traditional dinner, some belly dancing, a camel ride and this Arabic coffee which was very pungent and not to my taste. It was made from spices .. definitely not coffee. They should probably call it Arabic tea.

So we were able to sneak in a little culture (sans any church or castle or museum!) in Dubai. Just a little. Another cool trip complete.

We have had friends and family stay at The Palm in the Caribbean and they all come back with the same feedback; crazy expensive but really cool. The Palm in Dubai is no different – crazy expensive but really cool. Although, when you live in England where everything seems like it is 2X the price of Canada – it is all relative. The entrance says it all ….

The hotel is impressive – two thousand rooms, billions to build and some of the coolest features I have ever seen in a hotel including a 65M litre aquarium with a 2 story glass viewing area, underwater hotel rooms, celebrity chef restaurant names like Nobu (which was out of this world), a water park with rapids – a lazy river with a wave machine – amazing slides and a 30M straight down (at least it feels that way) slide that rockets through a shark tank. I went on it once – that was enough. The picture on the right is the tube through the tank.

It is tough to call out what was the highlight, the aquarium or the water park. We spent hours, standing in front of the fish tank which is 2 stories high and contains thousands and thousands of fish, including a huge whale shark. It was mesmerizing. Our room had the additional benefit of a balcony overlooking the tank.

The water park is just as amazing. There is a huge wave machine (which shoots you down a river on an inner tube), there is a river full of man made rapids and the center pyramid is filled with slides. The wave machine is below … as the waves start crashing toward my tube. I have some amazing video from my camera (the $200 waterproof case has paid for itself many times over). This picture is right before the wave hit us – over the week I got really good and flinging the boys right to the bottom of the wave machine so they could maximize impact (smile).

What is ingenious about the slides is how you get up. You can walk up (groan), or you can jump on the conveyor belt which leisurely takes you up to the top in your tube.

Or you can take the express route. This route was quite surprising. It starts with a cool little jaunt up the conveyor belt. You are thinking, you know what – this isn't bad. Then you crest a hill and .. well … you look down at these huge jets that basically shoot you up the hill (in stages). Think of having a fire hose pointed at your back .. that pretty much describes it.

A view of the slides. Yes, it is very high.

I would definitely go back to this hotel. No doubt. In the end, the hotel became our destination. We only took one excursion. That is next.

Time has passed, things are settling down and I have a few destinations to log on the blog. Starting with a trip a few months ago to Dubai. Over the last 2 years, our family has hit 10+ different countries and the boys were getting ACO (All churched – castled out). So we decided to take a break in Dubai where there isn’t thousands of years of culture to tempt us. It is all sand and sun. Just what the family needed.

Dubai is a big European holiday destination – and it just so happens that they had just opened the new Atlantis The Palm, so we booked it. As luck would have it, we booked it well before the financial sector crash so we paid a nice high price … but there is upside, the place was empty.

Dubai is a very odd place. If you have done any reading about the region, you will know that it is very wealthy and that they are reinvesting their oil money in the hopes of building the city into an economic, travel and expat center for the Middle East. It is their hedge against when the UAE runs out of oil (25 years). The pursuit of this goal means one simple thing: construction. Lots of construction.

Everywhere.

It does not take more than a 10 minute drive into the city to realize that their construction philosophy is either ’the bigger the better’ or ‘the biggest – period’. When I was a University student, I lived in an area with the biggest mall in the world – the West Edmonton Mall (went to University there). Dubai easily displaced it with their 1200 shop mall – Dubai Mall (ingenious name) which cost $20B. A few other notable ‘biggest’ (to name a few):

• Dubai Tower, the world’s largest tower with 162 floors – crushing the closest competitor (100 floors)
• Dubailand, the world’s largest theme park. It is twice the size of Disney world with 45 megaprojects and 200 subprojects. Six Flags, Legoland .. and on and on.
• Of course, the world’s largest man made islands (3 different groups, each progressively larger).
• Burj Al Arab, the world’s only ‘7’ star hotel, which we had a beautiful view of from our hotel room.

But in the end, I was left wondering if it is sustainable. I understand why it is being done (genuine effort to create a new economic base), but was not convinced that it makes sense long term. Over the last months, the police have been finding thousands of leased cars abandoned at the airport as workers flee the country, leaving behind piles of bad debt. Real estate prices have fallen 25% (with your own private island a regular millionaires bargain now!) and worries about the states ability to pay back their huge debt continues to plague the region.

Really cool place to visit once. Which I don't believe is the intent. That being said, we did do some cool things – which are up next.

I have blogged about the philosophy ‘Perception is reality’ before, a powerful statement that can be applied to all aspects of life as we work to understand each other. Recently I churned through the book Overcoming Your Strengths by Lois Frankel and she makes a few very interesting points with regards to communication, first impressions and the evolving workplace dress codes.

pg. 84   Dr. Allan Weiner, president of Communication Development Associates has conducted research that suggests in day-to-day communication the impression we make on others is based largely on how we work and sound. The following chart reveals that, in fact, 90% of that impression is based on factors related to other than what we actually say.

pg. 83:  Perhaps the seminal defining moment of the importance of image was the Kennedy/Nixon debate of 1960. Although most of us can’t remember the content of the debate, we do remember the physical appearance of the candidates as they sat on the platform. Despite the fact that Kennedy was in poor health, he looked youthful, tan, poised and relaxed. Although only four years Kennedy’s senior, Nixon (who refused to wear television makeup) looked wan and tired. In terms of outcome, polls of television views conducted after the debate gave Kennedy the edge, while polls of radio listeners reported Nixon the victor.

It is something worth reflecting on and takes me back to one of my first sales lessons when I was still in University. I learned my very first sales lessons at a high end men’s wear store that had the highest dollars per square foot in the province in a small blue collar city. I learned it from a man who exuded confidence, paid attention to detail and had tons of local customers. He said ‘You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes’.

I often wonder what message the young intern in the office is trying to convey when they show up in jeans and a sweatshirt? Or what message the gentlemen in the 3 piece suit and tie is trying to convey when he does not see customers and everyone else is dressed business casual?

Personally, attention to these details is a way of life in business. It was reinforced at my second job, where I sold fax machines. I was working from home and went into the office wearing jeans and a t-shirt as I was going to work at the photocopier making fliers for a campaign I was executing in my territory (In the old days … we made our own sales brochures). The sales VP walked by the room and stopped. He was not happy. He walked over and said one simple thing:

‘You are a sales professional. You are the face of our business to the customer. The staff in the office have perceptions of the sales leaders and look at them as our face to the customer. Don’t ever let me or anyone in the office ever see you dressed like that again’

He turned and left. It never happened again.

PS: Dr. Frankel wrote an interesting article on the topic for Fast Company here. A few thought provoking ideas.

Part of my UK journey has been the nuance of language. It caught up with me at a meeting recently where 15 of us were around a table and, to the surprise and joy of my peers, I said:

‘It is like wearing suspenders and a belt’

It was met with funny looks, then laughter. In other words, being overly cautious. When I think of suspenders, I think of this:

Turns out that in Britain when you say suspenders it means this (sans the lamp shade):

Noted.

While on vacation a few weeks ago I read a lot less than I usually do, only 2 books (The Reapers, John Connolly and Ready for Anything, David Allen).and a few of the usual magazines (Harvard Business Review, Harvard Management Update, Selling and Men’s Health).

The David Allen book is a good (not great) light read. A few highlights for me:

• ‘Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials’   Lin Yutang

It is so hard to leave things undone.

• ‘All intellectual improvements arise from leisure’ Samuel Johnson.

This struck me as a great insight. That leisure time, just clearing the mind, often leads to the best of innovations (which is why it is always good to have a pen at hand!)

• ‘The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war’  Asian proverb.

This quote could be the introduction to First 90 Days. Prepare while you can, because when that new opportunity hits, time will disappear.

A few good thoughts.

I am absolutely going to catch the new Star Trek flick as soon as I can (but not willing to fight the dude dressed like Spock for a place in line). I am busy trying to explain to my boys what Star Trek is. While not a Trekkie, I did grow up with it and love Sci Fi. And of course, who didn’t think that William Shatner was one of most awesome over-actors in the world?

• I do not miss fast food. I drove down highway 7 in Toronto and passed more fast food restaurants than I have seen in 2 years in the UK. It is kind of sad. Where has the chef gone?
• North American consumerism is a shocking contrast to England. In England, it is small shops (that seem to open and close at the whim of their proprieters) in quaint little buildings that have been around for hundreds of years. Driving in Toronto it is all new and business malls as far as the eye can see .... It bombards the senses.
• I did stop for a 7-11 coke slush (or whatever they are called - crushed ice freezie thing). I really enjoyed that. I also had a big breakfast with proper streaky bacon at Wimpeys this morning (after a 7K run and 5K bike in the gym). I enjoyed that too!
• It is so wide open. Big highways. My goodness - how your perspective changes.
• No restaurant in Canada will ever seem expensive to me again. After you have paid in euros or the pound, everything in North America seems CHEAP. $45 CDN filet? A bargain!

And last but not least, it will be good to reconnect with so many friends and family. Thanks for all the well wishes. See you soon!